When I hear this sound that awakens me, intimidating its way into my cloistered night, I write…

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“FOUR As…”

20140215c-680x539AWAKENING murmured and cried.

No suitable reasons stayed by my side.

Feeling awful, awestruck, awkward,

The false, sweet dream I had was marred.

I saw normal people with their devotion.

I was a slave of my unruly emotion.

AWAKENINGcame at the dusk of my dream.

The inquisitive reality was the theme.

A dismal AWARENESSentered as a friend;

Opened my weary eyes to comprehend.

I became aware of my present and past;

And many other things that never last;

And what I had missed and lost;

With a great pain when I crossed-

A border of hatred and ambiguity in my soul.

Watching poor me in half, not whole.

Then I watched me in the mirror of glass;

Didn’t see anything but a world of mass.

Two eyes full of hatred in human face,

Shocked and fearful of that disgrace.

A blind, directionless anger, not feeling sorrow;

Damaged by…

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His shaky hand touches the wall-

Of the hospital in a silent night.

His mother wakes up by his call.

Her lifeless eyes search with fright.

“Stop the torture for you poor mother.” She says.

His humming brings a glow into the room.

Her old body fights her spirit to stay awake.

His mourning pierces her through in gloom.

She sees a stormy ocean, so rare.

“Sorry for the burden, sorry you don’t have a brother.” She says.

His feet suddenly slid when he climbs.

Rocks rain from the wall on the ground.

He sings sad odes with rhymes.

She breathes his song, hear his voice.

“Relief me son, let me shudder.” She says.

The still and silent night in hospital creeps.

A police car speeds on the highway.

Moonshine peeks through window and sweeps.

Her innocent eyes in her withered face sees gray.

“Sign the paper, I miss your…

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Living is a mystery, I know.

I learned it as a child, long time ago.

I watch the sky after rain, look for rainbow.

Shivering of cold, I gaze at snow.

The steamy windows cause the woe.

I fall and rise, want to know.

I was a tiny girl, wearing on my hair a bow.

Late for everything, ready to go.

The happy bird up there knows to flow.

It is not a mockingbird, but a crow.

Ambiance is calm, things are slow.

Today I haven’t seen sun to glow.

Affliction is high, temperature low.

The causes are from down below.

The storms come, go, people they throw.

Living is shaped of a narrow row.

Mystery is the end, I am pro.

We all are actors of this show.

Creatures of the earth feel the blow.

Life is both woe and bliss, I said so…



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11221893_10205193729818171_1553975414017587974_nBlue are the color I wanted for your eye.

Yet your eyes are colorless, I don’t know why?

Your eyes tell me so little of your mystery;

So little of what I yearn to know about you and me.

I’ve known your colorless eyes’ mood.

I can’t judge what I can’t see and is nude.

Can you tell me what your eyes tell?

Are they in pain or joy, or well?

Perhaps they have pain, so visible.

Suffering comes to mind, your eyes, sensible.

I have a way to discover and share;

And that is to become your eyes’ tear!

Eyes that have wandered.

Eyes that have strayed.

Those eyes of yours, colorless not blue;

As if their tear made of dew…



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To the sacrifice, here,

We made our youth with tear.

To the punishment, here,

For being uncouth, not dear!!


Uncouth, undisciplined, wild-

Growing up as a child.

You even became malicious,

Outrageous and vicious!


Wild, frantic, even did roar;

That you reached out for more;

And collected hatred and soar-

Then permanently closed up the door.


You locked it with hurt;

Then confessed your sins with alert!

You showed them your fire-

That burned you so very dire!


So here’s your world’s urge,

And the truth of your rage!

Here’s to your youth’s memory-

Of a past with youthful tragedy!!! …


[ Ellie ]


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be5dba4ee93a028ef48d1627284b424ea92b5b6c_860… When I stumble into oblivion mist

And slip into a dreamy beast

I always see HER, this apparition there!

Is she a Goddess or an angels with her wear?

… Ah, in HER paradise I don’t exist

Though SHE marches into mine like a beast!

This impregnable fortress divide me

From this GODDESS, or angel of divine, roaming free!

… SHE turns away, not knowing my kind

And leaves HER heartache behind.

Beneath HER feet, my love is like dust!

Can I ease my tormented mind with this high cost?

… I’ll be hovering in HER shadows of years

Waiting patiently for HER call with tears.

I can destroy this impregnable fortress!

I can tear down every wall come my way, while in high stress!! …




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