Ellie belfiglio

When I hear this sound that awakens me, intimidating its way into my cloistered night, I write…


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“CLUMSY INTENTION”

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The art of engagement tends to allude me,

Like water under a bridge from a distance.

Social behavior is desired beyond words.

And harder than talking to a policeman;

After a parent’s attempted suicide.

You want it so bad, it can’t happen.

Yet get done doing the yard.

And putting the mower away in the garage.

Feel the squish of struggling bird,

Under your feet. It makes this swell.

You try to dart or dance away.

And stomp on another one. You get a shovel.

Might as well get used to it.

We hurt more by accident.

And repay wonderful kindness with clumsy intentions!! …

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Ellie

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“THE APPOINTMENT”

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Old scene and faces recalled in mind

Left home with me that dark night.

And dreading what would be my fate;

Engulfed my soul with such fright…

How could I know what the hours would hold?

Yet the choice became painfully clear.

Faded memories could ring painfully true!

Or there would be little to fear!

A new dress and hairdo, though crisp and untouched,

Did not change what I could not erase.

The panic arising as my car found its spot,

Where the dreaded appointment took place!

My feet were numb, but I neared the door!

Unwilling to take such a chance;

When suddenly strong arms arms and haunting faces-

Whisked me over the floor to dance!

And it wasn’t until the wee hours at home,

I reflected on all that was done.

And realized with glee, while sipping my coffee,

Class reunions really are fun!! …

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Ellie


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“THE SKY”

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My love flows endlessly,

Kind of like sky.

Sometimes you can tell by looking,

Which way it is going!

But it can fool you and you cannot ask why.

I sometimes sit on a cliff and watch!

Watch at how the clouds change their color and shape,

Somewhat like a mood!

I try to work out every knot;

But I can’t back out now on what was said before.

I thought if I left my feelings clear,

They would have shown.

Maybe if you looked at sky every once in a while,

You would have known!! …

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Ellie


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“THE LIBERATION”

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I have ached as a quivering branch in the depth of winter.

Layers upon layers of ice encase me in their coffin.

Sealed with ageless desolation in a frozen wasteland.

Stripped raw and suspended in mid-gasp;

And in these final spasm of life,

Reality peeks out from eternity.

Its abyss erupts in the space of my eyes,

As the mushroom blooms in the sky for infinite instant;

And existence is glimpsed in its maelstrom,

Just before the coffin explodes!! …

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Ellie


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“OPIATE!!”

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Bound in the shallows of an existence;

Every move, safe-measured.

Every pleasure at half-step.

Never daring the tide of an aching soul-half curious…

Peering with Soul-like gaze!

Looking, barely seeing!

Hearing, not listening.

Touching without feeling!

All senses dulled by the opiate of pain, lived or imagined…

How now the Gordian Knot of my spirit untied?

How unrelenting heart? Your stoic faithfulness?

Every moment in contemplation, a moment lost.

I am free… to laugh, to weep at full measure;

To try, to fail, to change, to grow!

I am free… To love and be loved!! …

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Ellie


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“THE SWEETEST EMBRACE”

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I step outside and-

Drift, weightlessly up to the sky.

I can fly.

I am free.

The doors are open…

Joy has just found me!

Happiness surrounds me.

The gate is unlocked.

I reach a place far from familiarity!

Peace and love fill my emptiness.

White clouds shake my hand in a warm welcome.

I have reached my final goal.

Now I am home!

A place I belonged,

Even Before my birth!! …

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Ellie


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“WE ARE OF ONE”

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Brother:

Do you see the color of the day, and of the night?

Do you see the color of sky, and the sea?

Do you see the color of mountains, and of the forest?

Do you see the color of rain, that makes the rainbow?

Do you see the color of winter, spring, summer and the fall?

Do you see the color of the Indians, a black man,

a White man, a Chinese man, a Hispanic man?

Colors of life is of beauty, made by God.

Everything and everyone was created by the-

same God! We are brothers, not enemies.;

Stand by me my brother.

Life is many of colors,

yet we are of one!! …

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Ellie