Ellie belfiglio

When I hear this sound that awakens me, intimidating its way into my cloistered night, I write…


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“DIRTY MIRROR”

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The mirror was dirty behind the bath-

room door. I took a wet cloth to the-

dirty mirror and was swallowed. I had-

fallen into a boxed mirror. I stood up to-

find three of me standing but one-

sitting with head in her hands. I-

looked down at her, get up, get up.

I bent to my knees to reach for her-

hands. I felt her cold tears-

Harden onto my skin. I was a ghost-

that had relived a failure!! …

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Ellie


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“HOW TO SCULPT A FROG”

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Oh, how I wish

to peer down upon the earth.

To climb the highest tree and

to rise above it all.

To watch over the world and

to reach down

to find our souls and

to crush the death from them.

To hunt through the forests and

to search through the weeds and

to scour the dirt and

to unearth an ounce of dignity and

to drown the world with it.

To take the sphere in my palm and

to wring it through my fingers and

to hurl it against the forgiving wall and

to pick up he pieces and

to sculpt

a frog from them!! …

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Ellie


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“THE AMPERAGE OF PASSION”

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Two crows

two squirrels

and a bee…

One field

one sky

one earth

one sea…

One He

one us

one you

one me…

two squirrels

their home

a hollowed tree…

Two crows

weary from the flight of the days

and nights that fool in countless ways!

The polarity of my heart

and the amperage of its passion…

A witness to all this am I

and thus thank the forces the created me!! …

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Ellie


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“DISAPPOINTMENT”

For you dad. I still am crying. Mourning, morning…

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I was feeling pretty religious

standing on the bridge in my winter coat

looking down at the gray water

the sharp little waves dusted with snow,

fish in their tin armor.

That’s what I like about disappointment

the way it slows you down

when the querulous insistent chatter of desire

goes dead calm.

And the minor roadside flowers

pronounce their colors,

and the red dirt of the hillside glows.

She played the flute, he played the the fiddle

and the moon came up over the barn

or her father died before she told him

that one, most important thing…

and everything got still____ …

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Ellie


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“WITHOUT YOU”

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I will always wish that we’re together!

Although it’s true that I should know better.

The whispers I hear from far above,

Keep telling me that I am in love;

In love with you, though I can’t see-

Your sweet eyes looking right at me;

The reeling of your delicious palm’s touch.

It’s obvious why I miss you so much.

Your face, your lips, your soothing kiss,

They’re the thing I truly miss.

I miss your voice, your feel, your inside.

All that I feel when you’re never beside.

I just can’t change what’s so very true.

Hell’s on earth when I am without you!! …

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Ellie


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“FIRST THOUGHT”

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First thought never comes alone.

Always more… legions of memories,

Or wishes or sad feelings,

All wrapped into a shell.

Never comes sweetly into view.

Pronounced as some grand mountain…

But hazy, foggy, realness stealing pictures,

Stealing sounds of life and fear!!

First thought never joyous in awakening;

Always low and dark… intruding.

Casting sadness into shadows,

Forcing saneness into view.

First thought, negative emotion, pain-

Or guilt or fear.

A longing for some peace, some laughter.

For the music to return within my soul again;

And leave me full and happy,

As the sunlight on my morning wall!!…

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Ellie


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“SUNRISE YELLOW”

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In a far off land-

Beauty grows on a hillside, in a forest!

A sea of azure blue-

Delights all who wonder by…

And close at hand,

A million miles from home,

A puppy grows, beside a fence!

In the dark of night,

A miracle burst forth.

From buds to bloom, to begin anew,

The cycle of life!!

Leaves, soft, fuzzy, as green as a woodland glade,

Climb upon a stem of stem of sturdy strength,

To a pinacle-

Of petals, crinkly, delicate,

As blue as the morning sky,

Surrounding a heart of SUNRISE YELLOW!!!

A symbol of possibilities of renewal, of hopes and dreams,

Fulfilled…

Remember always the blue puppy!! …

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Ellie

 


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“REFUGE”

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I will go up the woods again,

And will let me in through a valued door,

To the sunlit nave, for there-

Nothing will matter anymore!

Here is a passive priestess dome,

With love and laughter and strife and stir.

She kindles candles and by one,

And does not swell on the things that were…

Walling her spirit with sky and earth.

She does her penance to sky and trees.

She sweep the floor with a holy mirth;

And joins in birds’ bright melodies…

But if ever a footfall woke the calm,

Till the tall ferns tremble and draw apart.

She will snuff the taper and still the Psalm;

And bar the door with a beating heart!! …

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Ellie


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“INDIGO MOMENT”

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My life was touched by an angel tonight,

As I rejoiced the magnificence –

Of the burnished tonight…

The enchanted air wrapped me in a cloak-

Of gossamer wings that led me gently,

Through cool forests that spoke.

“Seek and find the one who honors the needs-

“Of your spirit”, whispered quietly in

Breaths of frangipani…

With bewitching fascination I knew,

In the indigo moments- the angel-

Had guided my soul to you!! …

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Ellie


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“AWAY”

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I am a scared turtle, hiding in my shell,

Away from love,

Away from hell…

I hold my tears back from dripping down,

Away from people,

Away from town.

I think about running away!

Away from tomorrow,

Away from today.

I keep my thoughts out of my head,

Away from sorrow,

Away from dread.

And now it’s time for gladness,

Away from cries,

Away from sadness.

Though it was hard, I changed very fast,

Away from pain,

Away from my past.

And now I fly through the sky as a dove,

Away from my shell,

Away to find love!! …

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Ellie