IF…

Ah! If I only could

Quench this wild flame;

This fiery craving for hate and blame;

The endless dismay of coulds and woulds,

That in total disillusionment takes my breath…

Ah! If I only could

See the endless remorse face to face!

Know some happiness but more disgrace!

In recesses of my memory and woulds-

Were etched in this world, in this place!

Ah! If I only could

To come to peace with dismay,

Anger, forsaking of tortured soul’s betray!

All renditions, examining, all coulds,

With such consistence I’ve pursed life of gray!

Ah! If I only could

To wash trepidation, all of them away!

Rivers that gushes of should and woulds;

And face all coulds that would stay.

Ah! if I only could!! …

Ellie

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“IN YOU…”

I see the deep ocean

behind the darkness of your eyes;

I see the brightness of the sun

at its highest point.

I see the radiance of stars

in the darkest night.

I see all behind the darkness of your eyes…

In you

I see the freedom of your soul.

I see your longing for love,

I see the generous heart slowly opening,

And then closes in fear of that love.

I see all behind the darkness of your eyes…

In you

I see my heart entwined with yours.

My soul reaching the depths of yours.

I see my adoring glance reflect in your eyes;

And I wish you see yours in mine…

But what sadness…

For in me

you don’t see the me in you;

And I, you in me!! …

Ellie

“LET’S FIGURE IT OUT”

Pain, insomnia, back ache, joints pain, over active nerves, eye, oh, man eye, numerous surgeries, more to come, stomach pain related to gallbladder, remove or not remove it? that is the question, etc, etc, are some of the best part of growing older.

That is me, Ellie…

“AN IMMIGRANT”

He looks but doesn’t see.

He talks but doesn’t speak.

He listens but doesn’t hear.

Around his dark eyes is a blue circle.

His heart is all about sad confusion.

He is always searching;

Searching for his lost soul;

Searching for his lost world.

Maybe is here or there or nowhere.

He doesn’t know it is inside himself.

He is gloomy, heavy hearted.

He weeps.

He says he is tired of searching.

He comes and goes.

He comes and sits.

Sits on the floor.

He leans of the wall.

He looks bewildered.

He talks restlessly.

He has all these books.

Grammer, conversation, sentence structure.

He says if he doesn’t learn English he’ll return.

He is an immigrant.

I am his niece!! …

Ellie

“UNKNOWN DEPTHS”

Oh, desolate shell!

Alas, I am free of you.

The molted skin of what I used to be,

has plummeted toward unknown depths.

My soul is now-

the volcano that was erupted;

and became my soul.

Spewing crimson debris outward,

as it rages.

There is no blood or anger,

only love and ambition…

It explodes, I explode.

Now anything and everything I touch-

is almost reformed and refined.

And what is not reformed or refined,

Is beyond the spectacular borders-

of my control,

And remains within-

brilliant confines

of yours!! …

Ellie

“MAGICAL DRINK”

My thirsty heart, fill up the glass,

By magical drink from distant home,

By crude drink which its fiery touch-

Has reddened the eyes of the world.

Full of enthusiasm,

The horizon’s boundary,

Acquired a new life.

By the spirit of that drink,

Life of cold and dark,

Submerged in despair.

Why not get a new look,

By the brightness of that life…

By that irresistible magnetism,

Make me drunk.

By the naked flame of the desert,

Bake my existence.

Insert in my limbs of every joint;

Inject in my blood,

All the beauty of life.

Reflecting the dazzling light of yours.

May a storm drew to call the light!! …

Ellie

“A MAN!!”

Can you hear me,

when I call your name?

I always hear you.

I hear your faint whispers,

when the rain falls.

You were a man.

You were a strong man.

You were a wise man.

Can you feel me,

when I seek for your hand?

I can feel it, yet-

I don’t touch it,

or see it.

You were a man.

You were a strong man.

You were a wise man.

You hurt the one’s that loved,

and loved the one’s that hurt.

you cause love by pain,

and pain by love;

Because you were a man!! …

Ellie

“YEARS AFTER YEARS”

Darkest night on stormy sea ravaged,

Raped, and left to bleed.

A sea of tears, fathoms deep,

Fed forever by eyes that weep.

Grabbing, clutching, charging dawn!

Confusion, madness, fear all around.

A little trace of light, the faintest beam,

Beckoning softly as if a dream,

Cutting the dark night!

Offering hope and strength to fight,

Calming, soothing, urging,

Promising peaceful days beyond.

Bullets rage…

Long and fierce nature wounds.

Heart is pierced, agony gnaws,

Like a dog with a bone.

No comfort on the sea alone;

But through it all, the light remains!

Burning brighter until it flames.

Blazing its way straight into the heart…

Healing, warning, mending the parts-

Together anew in the warmth of the glow.

Lifted and carried, the sea far below.

Never again to drown in the tears,

The flame burns inside years after years!! …

Ellie

“WHY IS IT ME?”

Did you know I am blind;

And will never see?

I ask myself why me?

Did you know I can’t walk.

I won’t never talk…

In this room I lay.

In this room, I shall forever stay.

I sometimes wish and wonder;

Also pray and think,

That one day I shall do,

What I can’t do today!

I’ve never had a visitor.

No one comes for me.

I am useless;

But one day,

When I am well,

I shall be able to say:

“Why is it me?”

Ellie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“VIBRANT HUE”

Sweet rose, so proud, so vibrant hue.

All the gardens rave review.

So beautiful, beyond compare.

What a fragrance, fills the air.

Shy violet, you are shy and lush.

Early dew drops make you blush.

Sun comes, beaming down.

Violet lifts her head with purple crown.

Forsythia you are, a golden bell;

As tiny yellow flowers tell.

You brighten the garden somewhat mild;

And sparkle like a happy child.

Tulip, you are, a lovely lass,

So outstanding in your field and class.

You just sit in stately splendor.

Your color will long remember…

You pansy, you love the winter snow,

With your velvet beauty, you’re all aglow.

Your black eyes smiling up to say;

You hope that all flowers have lovely day!! …

Ellie